Gibson

Never Count Another Man’s Money

A new client sat down across from me a few weeks ago. First question: “How do I compare to my peers?”

I hear some version of this a lot. We all want to know we’re keeping pace – maybe even a little ahead. There’s an old joke about it: A wealthy man is one who earns £100 a year more than his wife’s sister’s husband.’

I always give the same answer. Don’t spend a minute wondering what anyone else earns. Never count another man’s money. The only number that matters is what your chosen lifestyle costs – and whether your plan gets you there. We each run our own race.

Easier said than done. The neighbour’s new car. The friends’ third holiday of the year. The extension going up next door. It’s all right there, in view, inviting comparison.

A few months ago my coach walked me through what he called a happiness audit. List everything that brings you real happiness. Put a cost against each one. I expected a long list of expensive things. Instead, nearly everything on my list was free, or close to it.

That’s the trap. We assume other people’s lives cost what they look like they cost, and we measure ourselves against a guess. It breeds a kind of low-grade anxiety that never resolves, because there’s always someone with a bigger car, in a bigger house, on a longer holiday. Comparison doesn’t just steal joy – it stalls progress. You stay stuck, chasing someone else’s scoreboard instead of building your own.

So try the happiness audit yourself. Write down what actually makes you happy, and be honest about what it costs. You might be surprised how short – and how cheap – the real list is. Then build the plan around that, and let the neighbours have their new car.